this is not my suicide. this is just the death of a body. i died long ago, slowly murdered by the time, grime and concrete. this is simply a release, simply my answer, NO i will not& you cannot make me. this is not my suicide...
today,
i didnt look for your truck
when i drove by.
in fact,
i didnt even think to turn my head.
it didnt dawn on me
until i realized i hadnt done it.
there was no urge
to turn around
to start over
there was no longing
for what could have been.
today,
he took my hand
and i didnt pretend it was yours.
i didnt shy away
from the warmth
[your hands were always
so cold]
in fact,
i just let him love me.
it didnt scare me like
it used too,
and im slowly learning
to love him back -
not for what i pretend he is
[which is you]
but for what he really is,
which is what you always lacked.
today,
i realized im ok.
in f
ive forgotten happiness.
thats why i love you.
you make me remember
you force me to see.
this smile isnt fake,
doesnt feel like plastic,
cracking when you look away.
that,
is why i love you.
no its not
its not ok
&neither am i
but thats just how it goes;
fucked up
pulls you down
&im down
down on my goddamn knees
begging to your eyes
thru my baby black&blues
[[one less bruise
one less alibi]]
&then i realize...
youre not him.
you would have had his eyes.
of this, i am certain.
as clear and blue
as the mid-july sun.
maybe your hair would have been blonde,
like mine.
hopefully it would have been curly,
like my mothers.
your grandmother.
you would have loved her.
i say hopefully.
i dont mean that to say
i wouldnt have loved you
just the way you are.
id give anything,
anything,
to sit up all night
rocking you back and forth,
to hear you cry
to see you grow
to watch you struggle
and overcome
to succumb and be human.
anything,
it would be His
if i could have this one wish.
you would have had his eyes.
of this, i am certain.
this is not my suicide. this is just the death of a body. i died long ago, slowly murdered by the time, grime and concrete. this is simply a release, simply my answer, NO i will not& you cannot make me. this is not my suicide...
today,
i didnt look for your truck
when i drove by.
in fact,
i didnt even think to turn my head.
it didnt dawn on me
until i realized i hadnt done it.
there was no urge
to turn around
to start over
there was no longing
for what could have been.
today,
he took my hand
and i didnt pretend it was yours.
i didnt shy away
from the warmth
[your hands were always
so cold]
in fact,
i just let him love me.
it didnt scare me like
it used too,
and im slowly learning
to love him back -
not for what i pretend he is
[which is you]
but for what he really is,
which is what you always lacked.
today,
i realized im ok.
in f
ive forgotten happiness.
thats why i love you.
you make me remember
you force me to see.
this smile isnt fake,
doesnt feel like plastic,
cracking when you look away.
that,
is why i love you.
no its not
its not ok
&neither am i
but thats just how it goes;
fucked up
pulls you down
&im down
down on my goddamn knees
begging to your eyes
thru my baby black&blues
[[one less bruise
one less alibi]]
&then i realize...
youre not him.
you would have had his eyes.
of this, i am certain.
as clear and blue
as the mid-july sun.
maybe your hair would have been blonde,
like mine.
hopefully it would have been curly,
like my mothers.
your grandmother.
you would have loved her.
i say hopefully.
i dont mean that to say
i wouldnt have loved you
just the way you are.
id give anything,
anything,
to sit up all night
rocking you back and forth,
to hear you cry
to see you grow
to watch you struggle
and overcome
to succumb and be human.
anything,
it would be His
if i could have this one wish.
you would have had his eyes.
of this, i am certain.
Sound a bell for this fading man,
Who chokes on eastern sand,
And tests a grasping mortality,
With his rifle still in hand.
The lemon trees were yielding
Sharp fruits and sleeping.
As pale moths, drowning in light;
Whirred for the cool below marble rows
And tombs with lids shut tight.
In one courtyard, a woman knelt
Skirts untouched by wandering dust,
Bowed in white she quietly dwelled
Though without lust, (for memories sake;)
No passion could evermore hope to take
A home within her heart.
Which empty as her marital bed,
Was still as the stones of the worshipped dead.
So she bowed down in the blinding sun,
Before a shape wi
Innerkriege + Giochi Capi by Broadwaygeek, literature
Literature
Innerkriege + Giochi Capi
In the heart of mistakes and reinvention,
I find you
I whisper a silent confession
As I make my exit, into the flurry
Your face, haunting, in my back vision
Shred of condensation
Trickles on my cheek
Down my mask
Impairments
His hand is silver,
Cast in black glove
His skin is ivory
Cast in iron lies
I can't remember what it felt like
To live without fear
I can't even remember what it felt like
To be held dear
And I hear the music
And it whispers in my ear,
We dance a silver waltz of murder,
As the end of lives draw near
You were everything I ever needed
He was everything you'd ever feared
I did all you ever warned me no
https://emondo10.deviantart.com/
this is what devArt has become.
and it LITERALLY makes me sick.
She could be beautiful... If there was actually some artistic thought and follow through put into her portraits.
mostly these just make me gag.
Indeed we do need to catch up on things. Things have been hectic for me as of late but not exactly bad. From what I've seen via Facebook you seem to be pretty happy these days. Drop me a line via there sometime and we can chat.